Can I kill my boss?

WHAT!! Did you actually think (OK, maybe just a little?) that you could kill your boss? Let’s think about this for a moment …. bury him/her standing up so passing satellites don’t recognize the shape of a grave; pour lyme all over the body to keep animals away; remove the teeth? Or, wrap chains around the body and dump it waaaay out in the ocean to become fish food? Ask the border drug cartels to throw a 50-gallon drum party? NO! You can not do this. The fact that you decided to read this scares me a little, and I’m glad I am not your boss

So, let us get to the real root of this issue. This is for the most part your attachment to some very negative thoughts. Okay, I have had them, too. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that everyone has had a boss who really needed to go somewhere else (no, not the ocean). And, yes it sucks! Don’t they know that you are the best thing since sliced bread!?

THE PROBLEM

You’ve increased sales, made things more efficient, and been the condition for so many customers/guests to smile and tell YOU what a fantastic job you are doing, and how they will communicate this to management. You outshine your fellow team members, many of whom are just burnt out from years on the job, or they just don’t care and are here just for a paycheck.

And, your boss seems to see nothing, or at the least very rarely acknowledges you! Treats you like just another cog in the machine! You are a dispensable minion (and, not the cute ones in the movies). Their whole focus is the bottom line; how much money they can save, look great to their boss, and get that bonus!

This issue/attachment/problem exists, like everything else, in your MIND. EVERYTHING begins and ends from that 3-pound mass of goo. Everything. NOTHING exists outside of it. Who’s totally responsible for their thoughts and actions now? That is why, in Buddhist philosophy, we say ‘change your mind.’

So, this problem exists and YOU are suffering. Not your boss. Let’s really think about this for a second. Do you think/believe that your boss knows, or in fact really cares that you are suffering? Um ….. no. Okay, maybe they might be a tiny bit aware, but they are too busy being the Boss and all that that entails.

SOLUTIONS

Let’s look at how you can stop this attachment, or at least minimize it. You want to stop suffering, right? Yes, you do!

But why, you may think. I kinda enjoy hating my boss. Rallying the other workers against her/him. This feeds my ego! I’m like General George Armstrong Custer, leading his troops into battle! Well….we all know what happened there, don’t we? If you are in the clothing business, then you know he was the first person to wear an ‘Arrow’ shirt.

Okay, whatever, that analogy doesn’t apply to me. Really? You can’t see the correlations? The dangers?

First, if you fancy yourself as the ‘Leader’ of your fellow coworkers, you are now the ‘tip of the spear; and no one likes to be poked, especially your boss. Do you want your boss to notice you? Oh, they will now. An Asian saying goes: “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” Do you like your job? Do you need that paycheck? Good luck with that.

So, let’s do some changing. You now know that it is YOU and your thoughts alone that are the root of all this. It is your mindset. Okay, so how do I change my mindset? Let’s start with actually thinking about, and considering your boss’s mindset! WHAT!!

If you remember from Badboodha’s first Blog, we are all interconnected. So your boss is your relative. I know you must have some relative or friend that you care deeply about. You want to know why they are acting like a buffoon, why they are projecting negative energy at others who don’t deserve it.

BECAUSE THEY ARE HUMAN, JUST LIKE YOU! With all of the emotional turmoils, the desire to succeed, the want of respect, the fear of failure.

So change YOUR mind, by having more compassion, more loving-kindness, and more gratitude. FOR YOURSELF. You will soften. The hate that you feel toward your boss will lessen and fade away in time. We get upset because we can’t change the scenario. It is a power and control issue within ourselves. Remember that it all begins and ends with you.

Easy? No. Baby steps. When you feel the anger, that hot energy starting to rise within your gut……STOP that thought!! You don’t have to go from 0-100 immediately. Put the brakes on. SLOW DOWN. BREATHE. Just stop and focus on your breath. Take slow, long deliberate breaths. Try to breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose. Or the other way around if that works for you. What will happen is that you will change the focus of your anger to your breath, at least a little, hopefully more. When the energy starts to rise again, repeat!

When we are mad and want to direct the energy at others, the goal is to……..ready for it? CHANGE OUR MIND. By doing the breathing exercise we are directing our mind to go elsewhere, to focus on another issue, thereby taking the focus away from the negative thought.